Billy Lahr is a mindfulness and meditation teacher who splits his time between the USA and Seoul (South Korea) where he's built a thriving expat community.
In this episode Billy shares the joy of mid-career reinventions, we celebrate the serendipitous nature of life, sharing chance encounters, and the potent synergy of saying 'yes' to life's offerings.
Find Billy on LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/billylahr/
Listen to his Mindful Midlife Crisis podcast
https://www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com/
Episodes You Might Enjoy:
#18 – Josephine Palermo – How Retreats Enliven Our Soul and Bring Kindred Spirits Together : https://youtu.be/gbyxLVLKAjs
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I hope our conversation inspires you to rediscover connection in your personal or professional life.
Subscribe now and let the magic unfold.
Love & sparkles,
✨Shelley
About Your Host
Hi, I'm Shelley Doyle, a Social Wealth Strategist and Connection Coach, helping remote and hybrid leaders who are struggling to find a balance between tasks and relationships, within and beyond the workplace.
I combine cutting-edge research on social wealth, social health, social capital, and social tech, with two decades in corporate communications to deliver mind-shifting talks, workshops, and programs around the world.
Find me at TheCommuniverse.com and on LinkedIn.
Global Workshop Tour "Beyond Screens" launches September 2024.
I also help people who move or work remotely activate their social wealth, so they can feel connected and supported, online and offline, everywhere! Discover More.
To hear when new episodes drop, subscribe to my weekly newsletter, or check out recent episodes.
Billy Lahr is a mindfulness and meditation teacher who splits his time between the USA and Seoul (South Korea) where he's built a thriving expat community.
In this episode Billy shares the joy of mid-career reinventions, we celebrate the serendipitous nature of life, sharing chance encounters, and the potent synergy of saying 'yes' to life's offerings.
Find Billy on LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/billylahr/
Listen to his Mindful Midlife Crisis podcast
https://www.mindfulmidlifecrisis.com/
Episodes You Might Enjoy:
#18 – Josephine Palermo – How Retreats Enliven Our Soul and Bring Kindred Spirits Together : https://youtu.be/gbyxLVLKAjs
---
I hope our conversation inspires you to rediscover connection in your personal or professional life.
Subscribe now and let the magic unfold.
Love & sparkles,
✨Shelley
About Your Host
Hi, I'm Shelley Doyle, a Social Wealth Strategist and Connection Coach, helping remote and hybrid leaders who are struggling to find a balance between tasks and relationships, within and beyond the workplace.
I combine cutting-edge research on social wealth, social health, social capital, and social tech, with two decades in corporate communications to deliver mind-shifting talks, workshops, and programs around the world.
Find me at TheCommuniverse.com and on LinkedIn.
Global Workshop Tour "Beyond Screens" launches September 2024.
I also help people who move or work remotely activate their social wealth, so they can feel connected and supported, online and offline, everywhere! Discover More.
To hear when new episodes drop, subscribe to my weekly newsletter, or check out recent episodes.
Here's what we're going to do now. You're going to take three to five minutes. When you sit down and activate all five senses, you're going to feel the heat of the steam coming off the cup. You can do that for one minute and then to just smell the aroma of that flavor of that coffee, just take that in Notice, the different notes of smell that are in there. Do that for a minute.
Speaker 1:You take a look at the color before you even drink it. Now we're taking a look at the color, look at the swirls. What are you noticing? What do you notice about the cup? What do you notice about how you are holding it? And, without judgment, you're not holding coffee right or wrong. So what do you notice about how you hold it? Because you've probably been holding that cup the same way your entire life. So being present with that and then savoring the flavor, savoring the heat when you drink it, when it hits your lips, when it goes on your tongue, and just being present with those first three, four, five sips. And now you've just taken three to five minutes to be present with your coffee and you probably never thought that coffee could be so enjoyable, so flavorful.
Speaker 2:Hello, this is Rediscovering Connection with me, shelley Keridwen, and I'm here today with Billy Lair, who's a mindfulness and meditation teacher and coach based in Seoul in South Korea. Welcome, billy, how are you?
Speaker 2:Doing well Thank you for having me today. Well, I'm very intrigued to delve into the life of Billy Lair. I know you're kind of interested in people's midlife stage, which definitely spoke to me. I'm kind of there. I'm a kind of mid-career professional taking a break, going back to university and really changing the course of my existence. So, yeah, I'd love to know a little bit about you and what's really been the pivotal point in this, bringing you to what you're doing today and how you've been called to serve.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I worked in education for 21 years. I was an English teacher for 15, and I was a dean of students for six. And nobody likes the dean of students. The dean of students is always delivering bad news to parents, to teachers, to students. You're just always the bad guy. And I didn't relish in that, I did not enjoy doing that. That just wasn't that. Just that didn't feel good to me. And I know that I feel lucky. I know that helping people navigate the complexities and possibilities of life is my meaning. So what's the tool for that? For 21 years it was. It was education. So 15 as an English teacher, six as a dean. But I used to have a dog and that dog crossed the rainbow bridge in April of 2020. And I had told myself that when that dog passed away, that I was going to take a leave from education because I'm not married, I don't have kids, I don't have the same responsibilities as everybody else has.
Speaker 1:So I have been on this two year odyssey, two and a half year odyssey, since 2021. And mostly the first year was about just traveling, finding adventure. But when I got to Seoul in April of 2022, I met this group of people and it really has changed the course of my life. So now during the spring and the fall I go back to Seoul. I guess I'm I'm from the United States, so maybe that's where I'm based out of, but I kind of split my time between the United States and Seoul and then wherever else I can get to. And what I have learned more than anything is the the power of your community and the power of your crew and the power of your network to open up various opportunities. And just having this conversation with a friend of mine last night that I feel so fortunate that when I come back to Seoul, the connections that I have made really just open up these opportunities and they come, they just sort of find me and even after this interview, I have what very well could be a life changing opportunity. So it's just like, oh, I feel really connected here and I feel like the people that I have met have provided me an opportunity to live out loud, which is something that, as a Dean, I don't think I had an opportunity to do, because it's supposed to be this face of seriousness, this face of, of discipline, and da, da, da, da, da. And though those things have served me well consistency and discipline and structure and routine. There was a sense of joy and fun that was missing during that time, and even, I think, in the first year that I was traveling, though I was having these amazing adventures, I was still carrying the weight of whatever the whatever, I guess, little tea trauma I had experienced as a Dean, just from being the bad guy all the time and having that result in some pretty heavy social media harassment, in which I had to eventually involve the police in order to deal with.
Speaker 1:And now here I am as a mindfulness and meditation teacher, and the reason why I chose mindfulness and meditation is because 10 years ago, I was introduced to this by my therapist, mindy Ben Dixon, and I often say that mindfulness not only changed my life, but it most likely saved it as well, because I was really struggling with anxiety and that was manifesting into depression, and who knows what that would have turned into. So I thought to myself man, if mindfulness has this much of an impact on a nut job like me, it must be. It must have some profound impact on other people as well. And one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me is Billy, what I like about you is when you're excited about something, you want everybody else to be excited about it too.
Speaker 1:And I, like I said, my mission is to help people navigate the complexities and possibilities of life's second half. And I've moved from just people's life to life's second half at this point because I like focusing on the midlife, because that's where I am and this is kind of where this big transition has come in. And some people will say I'm surprised that you meditate, because you're kind of a spaz and I'm like, exactly, I meditate so that I can be this level of obnoxious, because if I didn't meditate I'd be an out of control a-hole. So that is why I have come to practice meditation and I like working with people who have sort of that same energy as me to help them recognize that hey, there is a way for you to hit the pause button so that we can be less impulsive and reactive and actually respond to situations.
Speaker 2:Beautiful. There was a couple of things in there that really spoke to me, so one of them was you talking about living life out loud, and something that I'm just coming to is that, when social media is the default for our social interactions, that's almost distracting us from our sole path. We're not living life out loud, we're not out there feeling into the serendipity of life. I'm going to give you a little example. On Sunday I was dropped off to do yoga and my partner continued on the car, took the kids swimming.
Speaker 2:Yoga was not on, so I was like ah, my partner did not have his phone. I called a couple of friends. They were not available, so I was like and then this girl came by and I was like is there any chance you're going to be driving near here? And she's like I'm not, but I'm happy to take you. And it turns out that she was a realtor and she's invited me to this like 100 women that care event at the golf club next week. I'm going to invite her to an event on Friday. I'm like this is beautiful. This is living life out loud, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so incredible and I feel like I have situations like that in Seoul as well, more so than I ever did in the States, and I feel like because I have a bigger personality here, but I also have learned how to reign that in so that it's not boisterous and obnoxious, that it's actually energy filled and that it's that it's palpable within a room and yet not overbearing in a room, so that I love situations like that where you just I mean you kind of say to somebody you take a healthy risk and you're like the worst they can say is no. But what happens if they say yes and that was something that my dad always taught me was just like, listen, the worst anyone can ever say is no, so you might as well just ask and I'm not somebody who has a hard time asking people for help. I'm like I'm very comfortable saying hey, I don't know how to do this. Anyone, can somebody help me?
Speaker 2:And I know what. I bet people are so happy to help, because that is that is part of the science say that we need to feel needed and if you can do a good deed for someone else like it's quite hard to think of what good deed could I do today? So if someone's literally asking, then that's almost helping that person to fulfill that human need to give.
Speaker 1:Yeah, agreed, agreed, and you know, I just think I think about just how we, how we reciprocate and how we reciprocate value, especially right, so that we're not just take, take, taking. And you know, listen, if you call me up and say, hey, can you help me move, I'm probably going to find an excuse so I don't have to help you move. But if you need to have a conversation like I'm really struggling with something, can you help me process through that, yeah, that's, I'm all about that. I will. I will be that person. Call someone else if they need, if you need to move, but call me if you're having a hard time moving forward in something and a big decision that you're having. So I'll help you move in one way, but I probably won't volunteer to do it in another way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and it's. It's such a good point because I'm I'm in the process of developing a mastermind based on reciprocity. So this mastermind, I want people to put in there what, what they, what they can give, and also what they're looking for, and then within this group, like, see if there is so. So you don't necessarily need to be a reciprocal exchange with one another, but if you can do something for one person and then it can kind of work out like a circle in that way, I think that's that's the way for us to really belong and rise and thrive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, agreed. And to me, I think the one of my tenants and coaching is finding your crew, finding your community, and, and in doing so, then you are more opportunities open up for you because people are willing to amplify your voice, or people are willing to say, hey, I'd like to include you in this because I think you add a lot of value, and that's what I'm finding here in souls. I'm connecting with a lot more people who I think are also looking for a mastermind group or just a community of coaches where we can say you know what, let's pool our resources rather than being it's so competitive, but actually pooling our resources in a way that lifts each other up but then does more good in the grand scheme of things.
Speaker 2:Beautiful, beautiful. And something else that was coming to me, talking about you kind of going back and forth in the States. A word that I'm still getting comfortable with is nomad. For some reason the word nomadic feels comfortable, but I don't like the feeling of being thought of as a nomad. I wonder if those terms have come to you and if, if, if, either of those sit well with you.
Speaker 1:I don't have an issue with any of the terms. I tell people, hey, people are like, oh, you're living the dream, you're living the dream. But here's the thing If you want to live my life, then you have to. You have to take every aspect of it. It's not, you can't just cherry pick the good stuff. And I think a lot of people romanticize this digital nomad life and the reality is it really can be isolating because and you also have to get really comfortable with having short term connections you might meet somebody and they're only here for a week or a month and you really develop this bond with them and then they're gone, and that that happens frequently here in Seoul. A lot of you just have a lot of visitors here, but then you also have people like me who are coming for an extended stay and they make these connections and I feel like Seoul has sunk its teeth into me and that's why I keep returning to it. But then in doing so, I meet people here and there, and what a wonderful thing to have now friends globally, anywhere around the world, and be able to say, hey, I want to come visit you. What a wonderful thing. But then at the same time there.
Speaker 1:You have to balance. That idea that you're in my life for a short period of time is kind of what you know Jay Shetty talks about. People come into your life for a season, or really A life for a season or reason for a lifetime, and I think that seasonal part is really a challenge and it's a. It's almost like a regular practice of constantly letting go and and that's difficult I'm someone who I physically hold on to people, to relationships. I'm a minimalist, I don't need a lot, but I need connection, I need relationships, and so when you have added value to my life, I want to keep you in my life. And I had a guest on I'm trying to remember what episode I think is like episode 949596 right around there. Her name is Jennifer Walton. She's a dynamo. I just love Jennifer Walton, but she talked about the fives and what she means by that is she meets people and when she connects with them she makes an intentional effort to stay connected with them or reach out to them. At least five times throughout the year.
Speaker 1:And I love that idea because, though five times doesn't feel like a lot, it's enough to keep that person thinking, oh, this, we're still connected. It's enough to just to, to say I'm thinking about you, and and, and from there, you know, then you spark maybe a short conversation and maybe that just lasts a couple days, but it sometimes those connections fill us with so much joy and so much happiness or so much hope or so much motivation that it propels us in a new direction. So let's tell people, keep in mind, just how powerful it is to send that random out of the blue message to somebody and just say hey, I was thinking about you the other day, how are you doing? And it's really that's all they need to send. I was just thinking about you the other day, how are you doing? What's up, what's new with you? A friend of mine just sent me a text today, a picture that she's out to. She's out to dinner with another friend of mine. I actually introduced them to each other.
Speaker 1:So so they sent a picture and I and I'm like, oh, I love this, because it's two people that I introduced to each other and you're hanging out and you thought to send me a picture, and it warmed, it warmed my heart, and so it's just those little things like that. We always think about big changes. No, it's the little stuff and we do the little stuff over time. That actually is what has the the biggest impact the. When we talk about an investment, you look at the stock market.
Speaker 1:The stock market goes up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, but it generally goes up, but it just goes up incrementally over time. Some years are good, some years not so much, but over the span of history, the stock market has gone up and up and up and up and up. So if we do just little things like that and invest in ourselves, we're going to find that our relationships are improved, our emotional maturity improves, our sense of self improves, and you don't have to do these grand changes is just finding little ways to tweak and doing them consistently and being disciplined about them. Those are what's going to have the biggest impact. So, if you're thinking well, I'm on a journal every single day.
Speaker 2:No, you're not.
Speaker 1:Are you just starting? No, you're not. You're not journaling every day, come on. But maybe you're journaling once a week. Maybe that helps out. Or maybe you're taking five minutes three to five minutes to just simply be present with your breath. You and I did a grounding exercise. You let up this beautiful grounding exercise before we hopped on here and it really just brought me into this present moment and those little things. Three to five minutes. You don't have three to five minutes? Yeah, you do, you do. And if you say to yourself I don't have three to five minutes, then you need an hour, because you need to carve out an hour in order to really examine where those three to five minutes are being leaked out throughout your day, where you can be intentional and you can be mindful, and that's the kind of conversations that I like having with people and just and being practical, being pragmatic and saying you do have those three to five minutes. Let me show you 10 different times throughout your day where you can just be present with your breath.
Speaker 2:And if you still don't believe me, let me know. Give us a couple of examples of times that you encourage people to sneak those moments in.
Speaker 1:Yeah. So my co-host on the Mindful Midlife Crisis podcast is my good friend, Matt Hazard. He is a coffee connoisseur. He is a coffee connoisseur and I asked him when was the last time you appreciated drinking that coffee that you so carefully brew? You have a membership for that coffee and it delivers this brand, this flavor, everything that you want.
Speaker 1:But what do you do with that coffee? You know, I just make it and I sit down and I drink it while I'm at work. Great, here's what we're gonna do now. You're gonna take three to five minutes. When you sit down and activate all five senses, you're going to feel the heat of the steam coming off the cup. You can do that for one minute and then to just smell the aroma of that flavor of that coffee, just take that in Notice, the different notes of smell that are in there, Do that for a minute and so then, when you take a look at the color, before you even drink it now we're taking a look at the color, look at the swirls, what are you noticing? What do you notice about the cup? What do you notice about how you are holding it? And, without judgment, you're not holding it. You're not holding coffee, right or wrong, but what do you notice about how you hold it? Because you've probably been holding that cup the same way your entire life. So being present with that and then savoring the flavor, savoring the heat when you drink it, when it hits your lips, when it goes on your tongue, and just being present with those first three, four, five sips. And now you've just taken three to five minutes to be present with your coffee and you probably never thought that coffee could be so enjoyable, so flavorful.
Speaker 1:People I don't drink coffee because I think it tastes disgusting. But I know people are, you know they are die-hards about what kind of coffee they drink. People spend six, seven, eight bucks at Starbucks for coffee. I wonder, have you ever really truly tasted it? I just like the flavor of it, Great. What else do you appreciate about it? You can think about. A lot of work went into delivering that coffee to you. Beans had to be harvested, that stuff had to be packaged, it had to be shipped. There's work that people put in to deliver that coffee to you, not just the person who brewed it, but there are other people far, far away who got that to you. Can you take a minute to extend gratitude?
Speaker 2:to them.
Speaker 1:Three to five minutes. Three to five minutes, and there you go.
Speaker 2:I love it. Yeah those of you who commute to work. You're going to change my coffee experience. Thank you, Billy. What a gift.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and people who commute to work. You probably have three to five minutes in your car Before you get out of the car and walk into the office. Just sit in that car for three to five minutes, turn everything off and just be present with your breath. Simply feel whether you acknowledge the breath in the abdomen as the stomach expands and deflates, whether you feel it in the lungs or whether you feel the air pass through your nose, breathing through your nose, and just simply being present with A, where you feel that breath, but then B, what feelings, what thoughts, what emotions are present, and making space for them. As though you are inviting them to dinner and they all have a spot at the table and you're not saying to them you're not welcome here, but you are. You're saying all of you are welcome here, because the reality is, the emotions that we experience are all on a spectrum and we can be feeling fear and excitement and joy and apprehension and disgust all at the same time, just like there are clouds in the sky. So just noting what clouds are in the sky of your mind, that's a really easy way to do that too Transitioning from one meeting to another meeting. See if you can be intentional around not scheduling back-to-back meetings and saying, all right, once this meeting ends, I'm going to let my brain cool for three to five minutes. There's brain research that actually shows the brain scans and if we take the time to let our brain cool, we are more receptive and more open to what is shared with us. In the next meeting, in that next conversation and being able to say I need a minute, I might need three, I might need five. If you give me those three to five minutes, I can be more present, but knowing that, hey, I need those three to five minutes Because those are for you. Eating mindfully is another way that we can do that, and you can do the same thing that we did with the coffee. I actually let a mindful eating exercise. If people wanna listen to episode 113, I lead people through a mindful eating and through my I do a weekly meditate and mingle session. So I record those and I put those on the podcast. People can follow along with that.
Speaker 1:So there's all these little things. Those things take three to five minutes, but when you do them multiple times throughout the day, then you're looking at oh, I now have been mindful 10 to 15 minutes throughout my day. And what you're going to find then is that they're going to open up other moments where you can be more mindful. And then you're going from 10 to 15 to maybe 15 to 20. And then you're looking at like, well, I wonder how long I can just simply be present with my breath, knowing full well that the mind is going to drift to the present, or actually drift to the past or drift to the future.
Speaker 1:But when that happens, you acknowledge where the mind is gone and then you bring it back to your breath with patience and compassion, you make a note of where it went and, rather than judging yourself for wandering or for the mind wandering, you say all right, I'm going to bring my attention back to my next inhale, and that is meditation. Maybe you thought I never thought of myself as a meditator simply being present with your breath and acknowledging where you feel that breath and just letting the breath breathe itself. Not judging one breath to another breath, but just feeling each individual breath. You may find you most likely will find that what that breath is doing is communicating to your nervous system. You are safe. You are safe and it is safe to be feeling whatever it is that is coming up right now.
Speaker 2:Thank you for sharing. There's a Pixar movie called Inside Out.
Speaker 1:I've heard it, I've never seen it and I keep getting told to watch it and I need to check it out.
Speaker 2:So it's all about emotions and each emotion has a character. But I did the Science of Happiness at Work qualification through UC Berkeley and Daca Kaltner, who led that, was the advisor on that film. So it really does go into the science of emotion. So even though it's a kids movie, it is worth a watch. And yeah, just thinking about the science of happiness and about like sprinkling those three to five minutes throughout your day, like people who strive for a happy life, it's all about those happy moments and understanding these little, bite-sized pieces that you can intentionally sprinkle through your day, and those little moments will all help you to live a happy life. But it's practice, right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's. I mean, you're not taking a cigarette break, not taking a smoke break, you're taking a mindful break right there. So if people can go out and have a smoke, you should be able to close your office door and simply be present. You can take a breath break, and one of those two is healthier than the other.
Speaker 2:But that's it. When people do go out for a cigarette, they do the breathing changes, doesn't it? They change to a yeah. So, it's like they are having. So they obviously they're getting the nicotine here as well, but they just the changing the breath. That's giving them a relief from the usual pace.
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, I never really thought of it that way that they are changing the way that they're breathing, you know, it's just that they're clogging that breath with smoke. So then how do we say, hey, are you able to do that without the cigarette, are you able to do that without inhaling the smoke? And I'd be curious to see if something like that does have an impact on helping people quit smoking.
Speaker 2:Still go for those breaks, but just not with the same buddies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I mean, at the end of the day, you know, the breathing is communicating to our nervous system, and if we are breathing heavy or we're anxious and we're not aware that we are breathing has become shallow, the breathing is communicating to our brain that we are in danger. We are in danger, and that is then activating the amygdala, the fight, flight or fright response. With mindfulness, what we're actually doing is we're building up the gray matter in our prefrontal cortex which regulates emotion, and it's actually cooling and shrinking the amygdala so that we are less impulsive and reactive. Now do we need impulse and do we need reaction?
Speaker 1:Yes, of course, that's how we've survived as a human species, but we're not in the same danger that our ancestors were thousands, hundred, thousands of years ago. So, but we put ourselves in that mind state when we feel anxious, and so it's just that reminder that, no, we are safe. No, we are safe. And obviously, when we're in dangerous situations, it shifts, but even still, people who are in these challenging situations are able to. If they're able to regulate their breathing, they might be able to navigate those situations a little bit better. At the same time, too, there is a need for impulse and there is a need for reaction. And I'm not saying that that's always bad, but I'm saying in this modern world we need less of that and we need more responsive.
Speaker 2:I'm going to change tack a little bit, because when we initially connected, something that you mentioned was love languages. I wonder if there's anything in love languages that's coming up for you, particularly in relation to connection yeah, either with ourselves or with others.
Speaker 1:So when I think about love languages, I think about what Dr Geary Chapman talked about. So for me, I know that my primary love language is quality time, followed by physical touch and words of affirmation so both of those are the same. And then access services there and gifts is zero. Don't buy me gifts. I'm not buying you gifts. That's not how I express love, that's not how I receive love at all. But I think when I think of quality time, it's why I keep coming back to soul, because the quality time that I spend with the people here really fills my bucket and I think kind of what you're alluding to in terms of being remembered. I wonder if that's words of affirmation. People are saying, hey, the things that you have done over time, I remember that and I just wanted you to know how meaningful that was to me. That's really important to me. That whole idea of people will forget what you did for them, but they'll never forget about how they made you feel. So those things are important. But more than anything, I think A your awareness of what does fill my love bucket. I think that's really important, not only in romantic relationships but in friendships, but then also at work You're probably not falling in love with your boss or your colleague. If you are, you probably need to talk to HR, but what I mean by that is quality time, doing something meaningful, the words of affirmation. Are people saying to you hey, nice job. Or are you being recognized? Do you feel heard? Do you feel appreciated, access service, people doing nice things for you? Are you reciprocating that? So it's just that kind of stuff that you become aware of and it helps you open up to all right, is this need getting met? And if it's not, is it because I'm not recognizing when those things are happening? Or do I need a change of scenery? Or do I need to seek out or maybe just spend some more time looking for those sorts of things and appreciating those kinds of things and, especially in relationships, having that communication with your partner and maybe once a week just checking in and saying, hey, did you feel like your love bucket was filled this week? Did you feel like I met your needs? And then communicating, and here are a couple of needs that you met and I'm hoping that here are some things. These are just some things that came up just to bring to your attention in case, moving forward, you think of it Because we're not mind readers. We shouldn't be mind readers. So how do we then open up that line of communication through more awareness?
Speaker 1:I think personality profile tests. There's no science behind them. There's really no validity to them. I think Myers-Briggs is a crock because it puts you in a box, but I do think that there are personality profile tests out there that make you aware of what your strengths, your weaknesses and your needs are. This is something that I use with my clients. I just tell people listen, there's no scientific basis in this, but we're going to go through it and we're going to highlight.
Speaker 1:Do you agree with this? Do you disagree with this? Tell me more about it. Why do you agree with it? Why do you disagree with it? And again, just having that awareness brings us in tune with all right, this is sort of my default. This is my default here and this is where I get the highest return on investment. And then this is where I get in my own way. So I can do more of this and less of this. How is that not beneficial to us?
Speaker 1:I think about attachment styles, knowing your attachment style, and no one's saying that it's the end. All be all that. This is you, or all of these characteristics are you. But I think just recognizing that oh yeah, yeah, I see how that has happened in my life and applying that to a level of awareness, and I think those kind of things are more scientific than your horoscope. So looking at those types of those assessments and just seeing, all right, hey, I have a better understanding of what makes me tick. And all of that is just comes back to awareness. And when we talk about mindfulness, that's really what we're talking about is the awareness of the present moment, without judgment.
Speaker 2:Billy, I'm so sorry, but I've just noticed the time and I'm going to have to wrap up, but there's so much that I could keep talking to you for so I've got so many things that I want to continue talking about, but it's been beautiful to connect with you. I've really enjoyed this time together.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you for inviting me. I really appreciate it. We can do a part, two, three, four, five, however many you would like to do it sounds wonderful to me.
Speaker 2:Let's do that. Yes, all right. Well, enjoy the rest of your day, your evening, and we will meet again.
Speaker 1:That sounds wonderful. Thanks so much, Shelley.