#36 - Pete Bombaci - Building a Human Connection Movement

Welcome to "Rediscovering Connection," where we delve into the essence of human interaction with Pete Bombaci, the visionary founder of GenWell, Canada's human connection movement. In this 52-minute deep dive, we explore the transformative impact of genuine human connection on individual well-being and organizational culture.

Whether you're a leader seeking to nurture a more connected and healthier team, or an individual looking to enrich your personal relationships, this episode is made for you.

Timestamps:
00:00 - Introduction to Pete Bombaci and GenWell's mission.
05:00 - The catalyst for starting GenWell: A story from a blackout in 2003.
10:00 - The Human Connection Conference: Insights and experiences.
15:00 - Post-Traumatic Growth: Learning from Cedar's opening talk.
20:00 - The new Canadian social connection guidelines - why no numbers?
25:00 - Balancing strong ties vs. weak ties in our daily lives.
30:00 - The role of technology in social connection - boon or bane?
35:00 - Community building through historical and modern lenses (Robert Putnam's "Bowling Alone" discussion).
40:00 - The workplace as a hub for connection - what can employers do?
45:00 - The concept of a 'Minister of Connection' in organizations.

Key Topics Discussed:
Crisis-Induced Connection: Pete shares how unexpected situations can foster community and how we can replicate this in everyday life.
Social Connection Guidelines: Why avoiding numerical targets in social guidelines might be more inclusive.
Digital vs. Face-to-Face Interaction: The debate on whether digital connections suffice or if they're merely supplementary.
Workplace Connection: Strategies for leaders to enhance team connectivity and the potential roles like a "Super Connector" or "Minister of Connection".

Guest Bio:
Pete Bombaci is a visionary leader in business and social change, passionate about fostering human connection. He founded The GenWell Project in 2016, driving Canada's Human Connection Movement to promote well-being through social interaction. Previously, he led Movember Canada to global fundraising success, raising $142 million for men's health. With 20 years in hospitality, Pete blends corporate experience with non-profit innovation to build a more connected society.

Website: https://genwell.ca/

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I hope our conversation inspires you to rediscover connection in your personal or professional life.

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Love & sparkles,
✨Shelley

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Hello you, I’m Shelley Doyle, founder of The Communiverse.

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Transcript

Pete: 0:00

I have my own experiences working in past businesses where those of us that were more the social type who brought people together, who led the volunteer, who led the social committee, who led all the gatherings were almost dismissed as people who weren't strategic, who weren't really adding value to the business. But now that I understand the importance of connection to the bottom line, the direct link to bottom line, to productivity, to collaboration, innovation, trust, respect, you know, all the business measurements that business leaders today are. Would die for happen when we build a culture where people feel seen, valued, heard, where they feel like their opinion is appreciated and Jeffrey Yip at the conference was the other business speaker and his, he had the four layers of, you know, feeling comfortable talking to other people is only feeling comfortable to challenge. And to, you know, suggest new ideas. That's a whole different level of connection in a workplace. And that comes, that can only come from time and shared experiences and, and repetition so that we get a chance to see each other repeatedly. And we start to go, I really like Shelly. She's a really nice person. I could trust Shelly because we don't just. Trust doesn't happen upon a first meeting. You mentioned that the connection that when we have a shared connection, that actually speeds up the connectivity between two people before we came on. And I think that's the understanding that business leaders need to have

Shelley: 1:44

Hello and welcome to a very special episode of Rediscovering Connection. I am Shelley Doyle and I'm blessed to be here today with Pete Bombacci, the founder of GenWell, the social connection movement in Canada. Pete was the host of an organizer of the recent human connection conference in Vancouver that I was incredibly blessed to attend and share some of my research at. Um, this is a third annual event that Peter's hosted of this kind, and I believe it's the eighth year that Pete has been driving this movement across Canada to get people connecting. I wish I'd found Pete about three years ago on my journey of social connection. I'm sure he gets this all the time, but it was just such a brilliant event bringing together people who were. As passionate as me and Pete, in the topic of social connection, um, from all across Canada and quite a few people came up from the States for it as well. So a big welcome to Pete. Thank you so much for making the time to be with me today, Pete. Great to see you again.

Pete: 2:53

Great to see you Shelly. And always my pleasure to get in a good conversation with you about the power of human connection to make us all happier and healthier.

Shelley: 3:03

So, I think we'll start just with a bit of a why. So I know you started GenWell, was it eight years ago? I know that you've been part of kind of big campaigns, big initiatives in the past. Movember was your baby for quite some time. Um, so I wonder what was the catalyst to kind of get you to become a human connection catalyst?

Pete: 3:28

You know, it's interesting. Uh, the original reason that this whole thing started was back in 2003 on the eastern seaboard of North America, there was a blackout. And during that blackout, first off, we were all amazing. You know, the human species is is incredible during times of crisis. We help each other. We don't worry about our scrolling through, you know, You know, our social feeds, although that was pre social media, but we, we want to help people in times of crisis. There was a big snowstorm just North of Toronto. The other day, they got four feet of snow in less than 12 hours. I think, and nobody cares about getting to work anymore. They care about helping each other that day. Uh, as the day went on, I went to a friend's house and who had a barbecue. It was in the middle of the summer, August 13th, uh, it happened at four 10 in the afternoon. It was a Thursday. And so after I got home and everybody checked on their loved ones, I went to a barbecue and at nine o'clock at night, I went out on the front porch of this house and the street was packed with people. I lived on a busy street, so I only knew the neighbors on either side of my house. And I, I looked at the street in admiration, wanting to live on a street where I, it looked like everybody knew each other because they were having a great time. There were, there was bicycles and hot dogs and drinks and a football being thrown. And, and I walked out to the street and I said to them, geez, I wish I lived on a street like this where everybody knows my name or knows each other's name. And they all looked at me and they all said, we don't know each other. And that was it, Shelly, is it was that moment that I thought to myself, well, that's crazy. Why is it that we have to wait until there's a crisis before we come outside? And I mean this, whether it's at our home, on our street, in our offices, in our classrooms, it's everywhere we go. So many of us are not making the time to connect with the people around us who will make us all happier, healthier, make society a better place for everyone. And so the original inspiration is over 20 years ago. 20 years old and really I didn't, didn't launch it till 2016 because I was too busy doing other things. And then I finally just said, okay, uh, I had a couple of people say, you gotta do this. You believe in it so much. And here we are eight and a half years later and we're still, we're still going strong.

Shelley: 5:52

Amazing. And what I loved about the conference was it seemed like there were people from so many different walks of your life that came together to be part of this conference, whether they were just there as, as guests or whether they were active participants on stage dancing, like one of your friends, getting us all moving. She gave a great statistic that I think is it 20 minutes a day that we need to move our bodies. For, for health. So kind of on a side note there, but I thought that was like tangible, just having these kind of numbers just in our minds to go, have I had done my 20 minutes today for my physical health? Um, but we digress. Um, something that I loved about the conference was the way it begun. So I've been living in Canada for three years, three months approximately. Um, so I'm very used to at the start of talks, having, an acknowledgement for the lands that we are living, working and playing on. sometimes these acknowledgements feel authentic and heartfelt, and they really do seem to have meaning and they can help us to ground. And other times it kind of feels like a. I'm not quite sure that it's serving the purpose that they're doing it for.

Pete: 7:18

Yeah.

Shelley: 7:18

Um, the talk that came at the very start of the Human Connection Conference, this young guy named Cedar, incredibly eloquent, well traveled, he, I mean, he's very, is he early twenties? Yeah.

Pete: 7:32

Yeah. Yeah.

Shelley: 7:33

Oh, that was just a phenomenal way to ground us into the place that we were going to be for the, for the coming couple of days. Um, one, one piece that he said was about post traumatic growth, a term that I have never heard before. Obviously, a lot of us have experienced post traumatic stress, I dare say, even off the back of the pandemic that's kind of sitting with, but the idea of actually growing through the stress that we've experienced in whatever scenario we've taken ourselves through, that really struck me such a wise young soul. So thank you for bringing that as a, as a way to open the conference and to remind us all where we, where we were.

Pete: 8:22

Yeah, I'd say it's a credit to the other, uh, conferences that I've attended at where you've seen, you know, um, uh, an indigenous welcome ceremony, uh, because I think it does, uh, a lot, I agree with you that many of the times when we hear a land acknowledgement, it doesn't really seem like we're going far enough to, uh, deepen not only our understanding, but you know, what are we going to do? And, and I think, uh, you know, Cedar was great. His dad who, who spoke the next day, uh, which really, you know, the two of them combined really helped, you know, root everything about the conference. As you say, it was such a broad range of topics and that's done, that's done consciously. Um, and I think we spoke about one of the attendees was, who said, you know, when they first looked at the agenda, I didn't understand what the conference was, was Was all about like, it was all over the place. And that's the point is we're trying to help people recognize that human connection is a part of everybody's life. I don't care that whether you're indigenous, whether you're old or young, whether you're rich or poor, urban or rural, black or white, you know. Whatever community and culture you come from, we are all better off when we have that supportive community around us. And that, as we know from Robin Dunbar, who I know you are a passionate follower of, and I've had an opportunity to ask Robin a couple questions on a couple webinars, is at the end of the day, We need to recognize it's not a thousand followers or a thousand friends It's those three to five close friends That we all need and I think when we go to a conference where we can see different perspectives That help us understand that human connection is so fundamental That hopefully we can refocus people's attention on what do I need to do, you know, and that post traumatic growth Let's let's take that that That terrible incident whatever that was that was in your life and let's direct the energy towards Okay, let me find if that is not what I want or where i've come from Then who are the people that can support me in the world that I want to create or the place that I want to go? moving forward

Shelley: 10:37

And then one of the first talks of the conference was Dr. Kiffer Card revealing the new social connection guidelines for Canada. Um, and what was, what was kind of interesting on that was, so each guideline had been sense checked with say a hundred experts around the world to get the green light, but there were no numbers. In there. Um, so that was intriguing because we know off the back of the social connection survey that numbers do exist. Um, but it was felt to keep them out because everybody's social needs are so. When you hear guidelines you kind of feel like numbers would be included in that and actually leading up to it speaking to some people. When I said about guidelines, it does kind of make some people's. Toes curl thinking about it. So yeah, I wonder, you obviously would have been involved in a lot of conversations leading up to that and deciding that that was going to be the approach.

Pete: 11:41

Yeah, like you, I, and I heard some numbers early on in the process that, you know, the, the, the research was indicating that the average person should probably get two to three hours. Of social connection on a daily basis into their lives But when you understood with over 120 leading researchers from around the world Who all contributed to not only what the reason what the the guidelines were but how we how we positioned them and when you listen to them talk about you have to You have to understand that the person who has zero friends today And has zero people that they can connect with and build that two to three hour window That is not really helpful to have a starting point of saying You need two to three hours today or else you're going to end up having some type of a struggle mentally physically You know longer term issues so what basically the conversation landed on was We we have to recognize we're 50 years late In this conversation, this should have been a conversation that we were having in schools and in workplaces and in communities 50 years ago, because this research, I'll give it a break. You know, most of the health research is only, you know, 30 years old, but, you know, indigenous communities. I've been teaching the importance of community and connection for thousands of years, you know, Maslow 1942 with his hierarchy of needs, like, you can look at it throughout the course of history. There's been many people who've highlighted it. The problem is, we never talked about it beyond. the research, the theory, or, you know, if you were outside the Indigenous community, you know, the last 60 years we've created the most hyper competitive individualistic society in history and nobody talked about it. And so Tony Robbins has a phrase, you know, good times create weak people, weak people create bad times, bad times create strong people. So we've created some challenging times because as we've been increasingly disconnected from each other, we've become unable to, to work together, to overcome the challenges that we face. So I think the numbers, the guideline on the numbers was to say, look, we need to take them out. So it's not overwhelming to people, but let's give people the direction that we all should be paying more. Time and attention to our social health and our social connections because they have an almost direct impact on our mental and physical well being and to the betterment of society.

Shelley: 14:33

Thank you for, yeah, just sharing the, the, the why on that, and that does make a lot of sense. Um, the other thing that really spoke to me off the back of the social connections survey, um, was the balance between, social connection with our strong ties, our, our close friends, our family, and those weaker ties, like those interactions with strangers or with coworkers. Um, and I believe that the results of the survey was really saying it should be about a 70, 30 split. So 70 percent of our social time should be with our closer friends. And. I just look at the landscape right now and the research saying that people are spending on average two and a half to three and a half hours on social media. So that's basically, that is the social time that we have every day for interaction. And on social media, are we really interacting with our close friends and family on there. I mean some, some of us, yes, some of that time, yes, probably seeing them on our feed, but I, I think the majority of our time isn't. So is social media a force for good or not?

Pete: 15:52

I think I just saw a stat the other day when you take away sleep, eating, getting dressed, showering, all the things that we do through the course of our days, that a child born today is likely to spend 93 percent of the remaining hours, the remaining life hours, On technology. That's not just social media. That's all technology. Well, the future is probably not bright. If that's the reality of the world moving forward, we know that the best moments of our lives happen when we're with other people, not when we're on social media, not when we're working, not when we're watching, you know, TV. And so what we need to do is help people understand, you know, we do digital detox days on the first of every month. And that's to say, look, we're not against technology because we all have it. Look at what we're doing right now. We're having a great conversation. We're using technology, but we need to understand that we need to steal back the time that we've lost technology and invest it in building healthier connections with friends, family, neighbors, classmates, colleagues, whoever it is, because that 70 30 split that you mentioned is. Is again, it's going to move and it's going to ebb and flow over the course of our days, our weeks and our life. And so I think guiding towards that number is good. You know, you're probably familiar with the book, Anxious Generation, you know, everybody in our space is, you know, Jonathan Haidt talks about the importance of us putting down the phone, but I'll say that that's only step one, step two is actually re. Turning people to human interaction, helping us not only relearn the skill, but actually giving us the permission to make it happen because we've been on this journey for 50 or 60 years where we've been spending less time with people where we thought we didn't need each other. And as we get to the other side of, you know, the pandemic and people trying to settle into the new ways post pandemic, what I think we're all recognizing is that human connection isn't as easy as we once thought it was, and now we might need a little help making it happen. And that's what really GenWell is here to do.

Shelley: 18:11

Amazing. Yeah. It's so, so necessary. You're saying two to three hours a day is what we're needing. And, and I guess just thinking about the, the, the book Bowling Alone and the film that we all watched together, the, the first day of the conference, which was Join or Die, which was a documentary about, um, Robert Putnam and kind of how he came to be writing this, um, really powerful book. Pivotal book, um, all about joining, joining clubs and communities. This was really interesting. I didn't know this until we watched the documentary that he had started his research in Italy and it was seeing. Why some areas in Italy were, uh, economically rich and their, and their institutions were working. And they really found this deep and clear correlation between people joining clubs and communities and their, them living in economic prosperity, which was a huge surprise. And then his work was really setting to see if the same trend existed in the U. S. So I guess that's, he's been seeing this decline for, for, for decades. Um, what I was really interested to discover that at the same time as this book was written, um, an article was written by a researcher named Nan Lim. And he, he, he referenced Putnam and he agreed that, um, social capital had been on the decline for decades, but he also saw that with technology, there was this potential for this. Exponential rise in our social capital once more. And I, I, and we see this like we're, I'm sure you and a lot of our listeners here are part of many online communities and online clubs, whether, you know, it might not be in the real world, but maybe online. So it's understanding what is a positive social connection mix? Like how many clubs and communities, physical versus digital, can we be part of? How many friends and connections can we really have nourishing relationship with before we are spreading ourselves too thinly and actually feeling overwhelmed? Um, and we just spoke a bit before we went on air. Yep. Um, Pete, about the fact that we're doing this work, we're really trying to help other people, but at the same time, we need to remember we need to help ourselves as well. And, and I'm definitely feeling at times like overwhelmed with the number of people that I do want to stay connected with. And I want them to feel like I'm there and I'm supporting them, but understanding that I've also got maximum capacity. So I'm not sure what the question there is. I guess just thinking about the mix. Thinking about the mix in our lives.

Pete: 21:04

You said so much in that two minute, uh, uh, speech, ramble, whatever you want to call it. You know, starting with Robert Putnam, Shelley, what we have to understand is Robert Putnam saw this through the lens of democracy. You know, he saw it through the lens of political polarization and the economy. And GenWell lens is through human beings and how we become happier and healthier to You know, create a better society that we all want to live in, because I believe the fundamental is recognizing that just by spending time with each other, we build trust, we build respect, we build optimism. And so whether we see it through the lens of health and well being, or we, we see it about rebuilding the trust in our neighbors, in strangers, in our institutions, It only can happen when we start to reconnect as human beings. So I think that's the first point I would respond to. Number two is I would say, if you look back in the early nineties and you look at all the books that were written about technology, it's really interesting that they all saw the positive of technology. You know, they only saw how it's going to create connection and we're going to create with, we're going to connect with people around the world and we're going to, it's, we're going to thrive because of technology. Well, I would suggest to you 20 years later, we missed the boat on many of those, uh, on many of those books is because we didn't understand when we were up against teams of behavioral scientists who've now connected their ability to distract us from living our lives to generating bottom line results that we are being skewed. by the wrong goals. You know, if the goal was to actually create a healthy society, you know, we shouldn't have people that are out there trying to distract us from spending time together. There was a Montreal study that showed that face to face connections have nine times the brain activity as a digital Online digital connection. So that message alone, knowing that 80 to 90 percent of most communication is nonverbal and that you and I, while we're on a screen are not getting the same as if you and I were in the room sitting across the table from each other, but I think think we are starting to get there. We're realizing that post pandemic, we got comfortable with digital technology and it's a wonderful supplement to human interaction. But let's not kid ourselves. It's the reason why we called It a human connection movement is because we didn't want people to think that social connection, social media connection was good enough. Social media is only a supplement. It's not a replacement because if we can't get people back together face to face, we will suffer many consequences in our own health and well being to the health and well being of the people we care and we love and lead. And then finally, to the society in which we live, which we can see and Parts of the world where there's so much fracture because we don't actually spend the time to talk to each other, to get to know each other, to build bridges so that we can actually realize that we have far more in common that what differentiates us, although we're always focused on those little things that we don't align on instead of that big grouping that we do align on.

Shelley: 24:26

Something that's coming through to me as you say that, Pete, is just about, um, I'm just thinking of a couple of male family members of mine who I get on with so well and I love them to bits, um, in person. And they are non communicative virtually, like they, they don't attend any of our family events. They don't get back to messages, but in person they're amazing. And it's like social media, virtual connection isn't for everyone. And I think I understand this because I've done a lot of research, but I think other people You know, family members or friends of theirs pull their hair out. The fact that they don't keep in touch when they're not in physical presence. But then you get them in physical presence, you know, every few years and you pick up where you left off. So there's, there's definitely something here. That we could, I wonder if anything's come up for you on that. The idea that not everybody is down with digital interaction.

Pete: 25:34

Hey, I, if I had my choice, Shelley, I would never spend another minute on social media. Uh, the only reason I'm on there is because I'm trying to build a movement and the cheapest communication channel is, you know, like everybody, we're all using it as a means to communicate a message, uh, through a, a channel where a large percent of the population is, and it costs us no money, but at the end of the, and because the, the advertising world is so fractured, even if you had a million dollars, you probably couldn't actually reach everybody without using social media. Cause so many people are spending so many hours on the platform, but at the end of the day, if you don't have a business where you need to market yourself, and if you have family and friends, and you have a job that you can go to each and every day that. You know, doesn't require you to sell anything. You just do it. Then I say good on you. Don't ever pick up a phone. Don't ever communicate to people. Do everything face to face or use the phone to connect with people. I think it is, um, I think social media has done great harm and I think we're seeing it, you know, in Australia having just passed the ban to the age of 16, you know, these social media firms are not picking up the cost of our health care system when people battle with their mental or physical well being as a result of spending too much time on technology. They're not picking up the, the, the bill for the illnesses that young kids are facing because they're not going outside and playing in the streets anymore. You know, the reality is they have done great harm to our society and they're not picking up the bill and the rest of us are trying to figure out this is what's going on right now. In my opinion, we're all trying to figure out how do we build greater coping strategies to, to. Adapt to the new world and how do we help our young, you know, Reduce the addiction so that they can lead a fulfilling life. Not just today but for the next 50 or 60 years because it is more difficult today as an adult and as a kid to actually get through this world without having to Be wasting, you know, you said two, I think it's seven hours a day on technology holistically. So all technology, well that's seven hours. We're not getting back today,

Shelley: 28:02

for remote workers, I think it can be up to 13. Hours a day on technology, pure craziness. What are we doing to ourselves? And I had this thought that in the future, there'll be job specs with, um, it will actually outline number of live video calls per day, because as uplifting as, uh, A one hour video call is with someone like you having eight hours of back to back video calls, you know, friends of mine, they want to connect with friends and family that don't live around the corner for them, but they have zero bandwidth for, you know, telephone calls or video calls outside of work because they've used it all up at work.

Pete: 28:48

Okay

Shelley: 28:51

I didn't know about the Australia rule about the age of 16.

Pete: 28:57

Two days ago.

Shelley: 28:58

Amazing. Oh, thank you for sharing that. Yeah, something that I've just introduced my daughter. So she's eight and she's obviously, you know, enthusiastic about technology, but I'm wanting to do it right. So I am introducing her to the kind of things that I was introduced to. So Uh, you know, letter writing. She's just, you know, just starting to write sentences and things. So, letter writing is something that we would do. We'd have pen pals and things. So I thought, well, email is a more efficient way to write letters. And she can write letters to her grandparents overseas. So, and that's going to help her learn about writing on a computer. So I've allowed that for now. I've set her up with her own email address to see, and then for Christmas, I'm planning to get her a CD player for her bedroom. So she doesn't need a device yet, but actually I remember how liberating and fun it was to get my own CD player when I was young. So she can listen to some music and. Buy some CDs and that kind of thing. So trying to do it right. Um, I wonder on your journey, what kind, what things you've picked up that you've thought, I've got to implement this in my own life, or I need to introduce this to my family, friends, like what's really resonated with you along this journey of, you know, there's so many different ways that we can connect.

Pete: 30:24

Yeah, it's so funny. Here's what I say. Shelly is I struggle just like everybody else does, you know, I'm probably closer to 13 hours a day than I am to the eight hours a day. And I'm the guy that's trying to encourage people not to do it. But we're also trying to build a movement here. And we're trying to raise funds and, you know, Keep the lights on. So, you know, unfortunately we're all under the same pressure and stress. I'll tell you the one thing that has worked for me. Um, there's two things I'll say that have worked for me in putting the phone down. Number one is my dog. And every morning when I get up, the first thing I do is I go and take the dog for a 45 minute to an hour walk. I usually go with my wife. Sometimes our son goes with us and that is time that, you know, you're not looking at the phone because you're out and enjoying, you Nature, the air, the morning, whatever the case may be. And so I think that's a really powerful one. And, you know, I know that there was a lot of pandemic dogs and not everybody's so keen. I heard somebody yesterday say it was the biggest mistake they made because they didn't think about the responsibility later on, but. You know, it worked for us. And then the other one is right after I'm done here, I'm going to play hockey. And I play hockey at the same time every week, Tuesday night, 6 30, same location, same guys. And I think it's really important for us to find the activities that we're really passionate about and lock them in on a regular basis in our calendar, you know, because I know that spontaneity is really difficult because I can always find more work to do. And so kids are another third option, but that may be an expensive option for some people and not having a partner may be another barrier to that. But at the end of the day, you know, my son who's sitting over there right now, and I can't wait to go and wish him well at the end of his day, you know, all these things are the excuses we need to actually remember that life is more than technology. And so whatever we can do to put these into our daily routines and lives are the keys to, you know, helping us stay connected. I know a lot of people it's about eating together, you know, putting down the phone, no phones at the table and spending dinner together. I know that children that are, that eat together three to four times a week. Are three times less lonely than those who don't eat dinner together. So, you know, it's little, it's a little bit here and a little bit there and a little bit of this and a little bit of this, and we can start stealing back the time that can make our kids happier and healthier and let's be real. Adults are struggling with this as well. So it makes us happier and healthier as well. And I think that's the wake up call for all of us is look, if every one of us recognizes, I do it for my kid, but my kid does it for me. I do it for you. You do it for your neighbor and your family and your relatives and the people you work with. We are in this together. There's never been a time when I think it meant more. Other than maybe in the middle of a war when we realize, look, there's the enemy and we're in this together. And if we don't come together, we're, we're not going to survive. And I think in this digitally connected world, we need to recognize, we need to create the occasions like gen well, weekends, like loneliness, awareness week, like talk to a stranger week to help people. Do the action. Take the action that's going to make you feel happier and healthier because we've weaned people off all these actions of talking to strangers or even knowing your neighbor or having dinner together or spending time for a barbecue. We need to get back to those simple things that make people happier and healthier.

Shelley: 34:11

Something we haven't touched on yet, Pete, is the workplace. So there were a couple of talks at the conference touching on the workplace. And one of the big out, out, outtakes that I took away was just that we need to be looking at ourselves holistically, not necessarily relying on colleagues and our employers to satisfy our social connection needs, what could employers do to help the social connectedness of their teams?

Pete: 34:41

I think the answer is this, Shelly, and I love your perspective on, you know, we need to be, we need to take a holistic approach to how we help people build healthier connection habits, you know, the research in Canada shows that, you know, Our relationships with our colleagues can have a greater impact on our happiness and reduced loneliness Than our own family and friends And so I think the important thing is for people to recognize that relationships with our colleagues can have a very Significant and meaningful impact on our sense of connection belonging inclusion community and since we spend Eight, 10, 13 hours a day, sometimes working at work when we have healthy relationships, those are really important for not only our own effectiveness and efficiency, which means we can get the job done quicker, but also to make the time that we're doing it far more enjoyable. But I think the role of the workplace is not just educating their employees about, you know, connections at work. It's about helping your employees understand that they need to be connected in all aspects of their life. But they need to talk to strangers, that they should know their neighbor, that they should do volunteer work and get involved in their community. None of us is an island. You know, we need people in all aspects of our life. And I think. You know, because, you know, I look at classrooms and I look at workplaces, they are the two places where we tend to gather lots of people, you know? So if I go to a big company and I get an opportunity to educate 500 employees about this information that those 500 employees go back to their families and they tell their families and then they engage in one of our campaigns. And that's how we build a movement and a consciousness around the importance of social connection. So, I don't think that, and I don't think the onus is on the HR department or the CEO to do it, although they need to be part of the solution, it's about empowering every employee with the right information and then everybody to be part of the solution as long as somebody, and it's, I think it's up to the organization to do it, is helping create the occasions, you know, on a regular cadence so that You know, there's an opportunity to have friday coffee or once a week or once every other week Maybe there's a lunch where everybody eats together and the company pays for lunch or once a month if there's some type of a Outdoor activity and we go and we hike or we walk or we ride a bike or we go bowling or you know Each of us needs to find the right cadence for our community so that they feel that sense of connection You Belonging, inclusion, community that helps people not just cope, but actually helps them thrive, not just as employees, but as human beings.

Shelley: 37:41

And is this, you say, it's not necessarily down to HR. Is it down to every team leader? Like every team leader needs to consider themselves a community builder and find ways to bring their community together and to nurture relationships between those people. community members, if you like, like just kind of reframing it from teams to communities. I remember thinking about, I have two children, I remember thinking about having a third and doing a bit of research about it. Um, and they said, when you have three children, like you're creating so many more relationships. But from just the two to, there's so many more relationships. I didn't go through with a third. Um, but just thinking about all of the relationships, if you have a team of five, like thinking about all the possible relationships that there are between the five and, you know, maybe two of them aren't necessarily going to be right for each other, but there's still like three others that could be in relationship with each other. So how do we help to nurture these, these relationships when we are a team leader? I guess that's just putting out there food for thought.

Pete: 38:49

Well, I think, I think two things I'll say. Number one, we need to understand that we've never educated anybody on the importance of human connection. So you cannot just turn around today and look to a business leader and say, go make connection happen because that hasn't been a KPI. Ever in history and so, you know, we talk about culture But I think culture is so undefined that people don't even know what culture is And therefore that's why we've struggled in creating cultures, but i've been part of great cultures and I can tell you it happened Because we connected all the time because our leader actually facilitated, whether it was dinners or coffees or go for a drink after work, it was always about being connected. And I think connection is the fundamental aspect of building great culture in an organization. But I think what we need to understand is that we need to help. Our leaders do it because, you know, you may have a leader who's an introvert, you know, just because they're a leader. at the top of the business doesn't mean that their social skills are at the at the caliber where they can lead these types of events. So what is the HR person or the CEO doing to help facilitate the connection for that leader? Because we also need to recognize that our teams are made up of introverts. But there's older people and younger people, there's people with families, there's single people, there's cultural differences. There's, you know, people who live a long way and who are close to the office. And it's all these criteria that we need to put into the hopper and figure out what is the right mix of activities so that everybody feels like they are part of the team and they're given the opportunity to connect with their fellow colleagues. Because when I was When I was younger and in the corporate world, it was at the end of the day, drinking and eating bad food, like unhealthy food. Well, that wasn't really a good mix for, it was fun and as a 20 year old, that was great, but as a 30 and 40 year old drinking at the end of the day, eating bad food was probably not the best decision for me. And certainly for many of the other people that were with me. And I think we have to get over this idea that eating and drinking is the solution to all of our problems. Um, because when we're trying to create that positive, healthy culture of connection, that's got to include the thinking about how do you connect or how do I connect differently than this person or that person?

Shelley: 41:29

Yeah, totally. And two things are coming up for me there. One of them, the Australian professor that spoke at the conference, and he was saying about. Uh, having a noni, having a noni with your mates. I love that. Never heard of that, um, a non alcoholic beverage being called a noni before. So that's new. Um, and the other point that, um, that I, I'm quite passionate about is employee resource groups. So at my last organization, I was, I spearheaded a new wellbeing employee resource group because there wasn't one. There was plenty for, um, Um, we did a lot with, um, supporting charities outside the workplace, but there was just nothing to help employees from the inside. So that was really, um, fulfilling, satisfying for me to launch this and find other people within the organization who are equally as passionate about wellbeing. We've enrolled that out across Europe, but we always have. Big objectives. Like we wanted to get 15 people to attend every event. Otherwise it felt like a fail. And I think we need to start thinking smaller. So in an organization, if you can find two or three people that are interested in the same thing as you, and you can do something with them. Once a week, and they're not in your team and you start to create relationships in the workplace. Like, how is that going to impact your happiness at work, your commitment to stay, your employee engagement, when you're able to do something kind of non work related. Within the workplace to like energize yourself to do the work that you need to do.

Pete: 43:05

Yeah. I think, I think, uh, we need to do a better job. I have my own experiences working in past businesses where those of us that were more the social type who brought people together, who led the volunteer, who led the social committee, who led all the gatherings were almost dismissed as You know, fun bobbies, as people who weren't strategic, who weren't really adding value to the business. But now that I understand the importance of connection to the bottom line, the direct link to bottom line, to productivity, to collaboration, innovation, trust, respect, you know, all the business measurements that business leaders today are. Would die for happen when we build a culture where people feel seen, valued, heard, where they feel like their opinion is appreciated and Jeffrey Yip at the conference was the other business speaker and his, he had the four layers of, you know, feeling comfortable talking to other people is only feeling comfortable to challenge. And to, you know, suggest new ideas. That's a whole different level of connection in a workplace. And that comes, that can only come from time and shared experiences and repetition so that we get a chance to see each other repeatedly. And we start to go, I really like Shelly. She's a really nice person. I could trust Shelly because we don't just. Trust doesn't happen upon a first meeting. You mentioned that the connection that when we have a shared connection, that actually speeds up the connectivity between two people before we came on. And I think that's the understanding that business leaders need to have. If you have the people in your organization that are the connectors, that are the people that can rally 10 people or two people or 10 or 20 or 30 to be a volunteer or do an activity together. Champion those people, give them funding, give them T shirts or give them some food budget, give them something because if they can help you facilitate the connections that maybe you as the business leader aren't so skilled at, give them the funds to help them do it. And then you show up at their event versus the leadership always having to lead all the connections.

Shelley: 45:32

Is there, is there a new role that's going to be present in every big organization around the world? And what is that role? What does that role look like?

Pete: 45:43

There was a, an article during the global pandemic by Mortensen, I forget his first name. You He's an INSEAD business professor, and he said the number one role on the other side of the global pandemic will be the the minister of connection or, you know, director of connection, but it had to be a very senior role. And the sole purpose was to actually support and facilitate the connections in the workplace. And so I think you're spot on, Shelly. Unfortunately, I still think most businesses think this is a nice to have versus a must have, and therefore they aren't making the investment. They aren't making the commitment to this. Even when I go and do workshops now and we have, you know, a toolkit that helps them facilitate ongoing, what is your calendar? What is your cadence? How often are you doing it? Most businesses don't make the commitment to do the ongoing. You know, um, connection opportunities because they think it's good enough just to give people the information. But I think what we'll see in time is that it's not just about giving them the information. But it's you have to help facilitate a study. You know, pre pandemic this is when we were in the office. 76 percent of employees in one study out of Boston University said that 76 percent of employees felt like it was a challenge to build relationships with fellow employees. And that was when we were in the office together. So just because we put people in a room together doesn't mean that they're going to get connected. We have to help facilitate those connections because there's status, there's, you know, different levels of the hierarchy, there's male, female, there's language barriers. In some cases, obviously we're spending more time apart. There's so many more challenges today that we as leaders need to help people overcome by helping facilitate the connections that make us all happier and healthier.

Shelley: 47:38

Mm, I so hear you on so much of that, and I've definitely had the thought over the last couple of years about there being a role for a super connector. I love the idea that it's actually a senior role and they're kind of working at all levels and just, you know, just, it can start really small, like somebody that's very much on the pulse of what a lot of different people in the organization are doing, whether that's professionally or personally, like you find out that someone's just. Bin away to Italy and you hear that somebody else is about to go to Italy and you connect them to say, like, why don't you guys have a coffee chat about this? Cause that's it, the coffee chat. I, I read an article about there now being these tools that put, um, like automate these coffee chats. And I just thought, Oh God, I bet that's really uncomfortable because you don't necessarily have anything in common. You wouldn't know where to start necessarily with a, with a conversation with this colleague. You've just been. Put to like, where's the, where's the points of reference. So the idea of having somebody within the organization that can actually do those intentional introductions to help you build your network within the organization. Yeah. I think we should just go off and write some job specs, Pete, and see what we can do about that.

Pete: 48:54

I think I know a couple of people who could apply.

Shelley: 49:00

Hey, it's been such a pleasure to connect in with you today. I wonder if there's just something that we haven't touched on that you just think we can't leave this conversation without just mentioning this thing that everybody needs to hear about.

Pete: 49:15

Well, I think, you know, I think I'd finish off because it's been a really beautiful conversation, Shelley. And I think what we need to help people understand is that this isn't going to change overnight. And, you know, you and I are out here, you know, working very hard to awaken the world to how much we actually need each other and the ways in which we can make it happen. But we need to recognize we're up against a lot of challenges in creating the type of world where we are all given permission to do it. And, you know, we need to continue. This is behavior change and behavior change takes time. And so. Don't get frustrated if somebody doesn't engage the first time, you know, let's make sure that we continue to reinforce the message. That's why we have seven campaigns at GenWell throughout the year. So we don't just do, you know, I'm not a big believer of one week a year focused on You know, whether it's loneliness or whether it's a mental health issue, or one day of the year to focus on this illness or that illness. The reality is when you're trying to get people to change behaviors, it takes time and it takes repetition and this is why we've created all these campaigns throughout the year so that we can keep people focused on. Don't let this slide. This is a really important part of your health and well being and of the society that we want today and in the future. And so I hope that everybody, you know, cuts themselves a little slack, you know, take a few baby steps, try a little more tomorrow, put the phone down a little bit longer because together we can make the world a happier and healthier place. One face to face conversation at a time.

Shelley: 50:52

Beautifully said. And I feel like I just need to leave this conversation with a little testimonial. So I did take part in your talk to a stranger week., and afterwards, the next day when I was on the school run, uh, a woman was walking down the street. I asked her if she was on the school run. She wasn't. And then I just kind of carried on having a conversation with her very naturally. I'm sure like you, Pete, like I'm, I'm someone that's quite comfortable talking to strangers every now and then. I wouldn't typically cross the street to talk to a stranger though. So that was, it is like these reminders through the GenWell initiatives. It's like, you do it for an hour, you know, once a year to remind yourself that you can do it again. And that then makes it feel. Feel much more effortless and natural to then continue doing it. So I think these are the reminders that you have in on the, uh, on the program of gen well, so I will put all of the links beneath, um, and, and look forward to being part of this whole movement with you, Pete, so blessed to know you.

Pete: 51:55

Yeah, so great to spend some more time with you, Shelly. Thank you for all your support. Thanks for opportunity to chat about it today. And, you know, I know that together we will change the world.